Empowering Yourself: Stepping Beyond the Need for Competition and External Validation

In today’s digital age, the allure of seeking validation through social media is strong, especially for women on a recent path of self-discovery, struggling with self-confidence. As they age, this often leads to over-sharing revealing or provocative photos in hopes of getting the much-needed validation they lacked growing up, aka ‘confidence-booster’ from their audience through likes and comments.

This article is not intended for beautiful women, who are fit, healthy, and successful and who have been on a path of personal growth for the last twenty years. This post is intended for women whose kids have recently left the nest. They sold their house, and are living abroad in search of happiness, self-discovery, and to cultivate a sense of self-awareness. They recently identified their self-sabotaging behaviors and are gradually changing their habits, leading to a healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle.

For those committed to personal growth, moving from a victimhood mindset to one of empowerment requires maturity and a change of mindset. This step doesn’t happen overnight. It takes consistent effort, and determination to show up better than the person they were yesterday.

When this type of woman shares a large photo album of fifty or more photos or videos to show their new lifestyle, freedom, or what they look like now in provocative outfits, it makes me think of those after school TV movies where a girl tries to get the attention of a boy who doesn’t notice her. She might change her appearance, and lose lots of weight to try to become the prettiest girl in high school, hoping for him to notice her and obtain his reaction to “Hey, look at me now. Want some of this?

If you’re single, a valuable man will never be interested in this behavior lacking maturity. You may also be strutting your stuff on the wrong platform. Social media is not a dating website unless, of course, you put a call to action so your audience knows your dating intentions.

While it’s important to celebrate your journey and newfound confidence, remember that true self-worth comes from within. Seeking external validation through provocative social media posts may provide temporary gratification, but it won’t fill the void of self-acceptance and self-love. Value isn’t determined by external validation.

While some pictures may seem empowering to you now because you lost forty pounds, your future self may cringe at the thought of sharing such intimate moments with the world: bikini, short shorts, mini-skirt/dress, breasts almost popping out of a dress, poolside poses with unflattering camera angles…You get the point. Modeling is an art very few have mastered. It’s deeper than just beautiful pictures. Our body language conveys a profound message. What message are you sharing exactly?

As a life and business strategist, I empower my clients to strive to show up in the world better than the person they were yesterday and end the cycle of self-sabotage. In doing so, the improvements my clients have are massive in the areas of career, health, and relationships in a very short amount of time.

Don’t let regret get the best of you by posting bikini pictures you might find unflattering in two months from now. At least find a business reason to share these pictures so your grandchildren don’t find your social media pages one day and wonder why you’re posting that type of content. At least have a reason. Writing that you’re a ‘life coach” in your bio, if you’re not actually selling any coaching programs doesn’t cut it.

If you’re traveling the world, but not generating any income online, have passive income, investment properties, or are selling products or services, are you simply living off of your savings? If so, sorry to tell you this, but you’re on pre-retirement with a hobby of sharing your newfound lifestyle on social media to receive instant gratification and a dopamine rush, until you can collect your pensions.

Sharing your pictures without a call to action to offer any services doesn’t make you a ‘life coach’ because you say you are in your social media bio. It is estimated that 95% of life coaches give up after the first year of becoming a life coach due to numerous reasons, including the individual’s level of commitment and the effectiveness of their coaching approach. Sharing a large photo album with the caption: Beautiful memories of Bora, Bora is not selling life coaching products or services.

Why not use social media to generate income? Why share photo albums with no other purpose than to want other people to crave what you have? Haven’t you outgrown the ‘Hey, look at me. Want some of that’ attitude?

There are endless possibilities to generate income online. Want to become a model or a social media influencer? Then generate income doing what it is that you’re passionate about. Promote travel destinations, partner with brands, sell sunglasses, anti-aging creams, active wear, swimwear, healthy eating recipes, showcase your income-generating investment properties, sell life coaching, learn photography…at least have a reason to post those pictures aside from trying to imitate a Want-to-be Victoria’s Secret model because you’re in your late fifties going through a mid-life crisis and you’re seeking social media attention and validation.

Generate income doing what it is that you’re passionate about! Don’t let your grandchildren tell you, because I can guarantee, they will unfilter much more than me in this article. Kids have zero filter. They speak the truth. It’s never too late to start a business.

Remember that likes, shares and comments don’t actually bring additional income into your business unless you’re a paid content creator, or selling a particular product or service.

Before sharing a large photo album of random pictures and videos on social media, ask yourself:

  • Why you are doing it?
  • What is the reason or the purpose of such a post?
  • Is your hobby seeking the attention of men on social media?
  • Are you lonely and looking for attention?
  • Are you single and looking for a man?
  • Are you looking for a man to support you financially while you enjoy your newfound freedom-lifestyle of traveling the world?
  • Are you searching for validation or approval because you lack self-confidence?
  • Are you selling a product or a service with a call to action?
  • Are you sharing before/after pictures to create an emotional connection with your audience to eventually sell them a product or a service?

Consider the underlying motivations behind your posts and whether they align with your intentions and values. If you find yourself uncertain about why you’re sharing certain content or if you’re primarily seeking validation due to a lack of self-confidence, it may be an opportunity to reassess your approach. Instead of using social media solely as a platform for seeking approval, consider how you can add value to your audience’s experience.

How can you turn those pictures and videos into an income-generating business, instead of flaunting your stuff or lifestyle for likes?

Ultimately, ask yourself: What value am I bringing to my audience through these posts? By aligning your content with purpose and value, you can make a meaningful impact on your audience.

Remember this: You are a unique and beautiful soul, deserving of love and acceptance just as you are. Age is just a number and you are not in competition with anyone else. You are more than just your physical appearance. You have limitless potential to succeed. Instead of spending your energy trying to outshine others in your life or in your career, focus on cultivating self-love and self-confidence from within.

Genuine connections are built on qualities such as intellect, character, morality, and authenticity, rather than physical appearance alone. Embrace your strengths, celebrate your accomplishments, and honor your journey. When you learn to love and accept yourself fully, you no longer feel the need to compete with others for validation.

As Maya Angelou said, “Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” So, resist the urge to compete for external validation and focus on nurturing your inner light. You are enough, just as you are. Your journey is uniquely yours, Beautiful Soul.

If you want a copy of my three eBooks, A Journey of Riches: The Attitude of Gratitude, Messages From The Heart, and Live Your Passion, send me an email at julie@julieblouin.com

If you’ve made it this far by reading the full article and the description of the woman above sounds like you, you probably have some self-sabotaging behaviors. Why not download my Free eBook called Limitless: A Self-Assessment Guide for Unleashing your True Potential so you can start living your best life.

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